i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize