I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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