I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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