So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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