What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
