he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
