Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
