I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
