I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
