People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
