i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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