I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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