Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
