I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
