I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
