I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The air was thick with penises
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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