I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
