after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
