Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Farmville is her only friend.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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