Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
