i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
