I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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