and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
