Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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