are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".