Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.