I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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