god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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