I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
