they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
