I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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