i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How naked do you want me to be?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
