I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
