I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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