it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
