I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
