I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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