You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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