We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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