Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she looked like the before picture.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
