That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize