Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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