go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
