my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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