oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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