I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Everyone says I win the strip club
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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