Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
