somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well you can't waste a boner
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
