Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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