Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
