I accidentally had phone sex last night
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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