Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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