got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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