when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
pray to the hookup gods
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
