i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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