Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
