what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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