well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
