Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
