Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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