i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
