like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
are you so shy because you have an std?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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