I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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