Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
