Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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